But what's actually going to happen?
It's time to bring the money-lenders back into the temple; to say to Lord Levy 'come back, all is forgiven'; hard times have arrived and jewdas returns to celebrate the glorious relationship between jews and money.
We're all familiar with credit-crunches (is this a snack bar?), rising oil prices and negative equity and nowthe economic downturn has hit Jewdas Towers. Rabbi Geoffrey Cohen's Stamford Hill property empire is in dire straits. Faced with 'we're too busy studying torah to pay rent' tenants, pressure to allow no more than 3 families per room and a simultaneous drop in the market for his 'Tsnius-friendly bikinis', things are bad.
Unable to keep compete with the lavish budgets of the likes of Jewish Care and the JNF, jewdas finds itself rapidly becoming the northern rock of the Jewish world.
Jewdas is seeking your pound (of flesh ideally, but straight pounds will do) in order to maintain the high cost of running the International Jewish Conspiracy.
let us tempt you with a warehouse filled with a range of live music including:Pretty good, huh? But where's it happening?
klezmer band, yiddish songs, el shaddai, jen charlton, the infamous Geoff Berner, and Simon Katan (of Halal Kebab Hut)
dj sets featuring 20s yiddish tracks, yidcore and barbara streisand;
a series of films by artisit including Ari Libsker, Tanya Ury, Jes Benstock, Nancy Koan, Charlie Phillips, Giovanna Chesle, Naama W and others;
a bespoke jewish tattooing service;
talks on religion, philosophy and tax evasion; by David Rosenberg, Dani Kranz and Deborah Kahn-Harris (not respectively...)
your chance to take rabbi cohen's stamford hill jukebox challenge
sideshows including JC power 100 hoopla and jewish community bingo;
mass conversions; rabbinical lap dances; jewish memorabilia raffle;
and, best of all, the chance to confess to Rabbi Geoffrey Cohen.
Unit D, Omega Works, 167 Hermitage Road, Manor House N4 1LZ (map)Ok, that's the place. How about the time and date?
From 8 pm Saturday June 21stJune 21st? Significant? Not to Jews I don't think. Druids. That's it. It's the summer solstice. The youngers of zion are creating a distraction so the Druids can settle here, ethnically cleanse lots of natives and establish the world's only Druish state. Then they'll try and justify it on the grounds that they were here two thousand years ago.
But where on earth could they have got such a ludicrous yet cunning and despicable idea?