November 14, 2008

Flat is the New Beautiful

Thomas Friedman, the great advocate of outsourcing, harder work, lower wages, war, bombing civilians, and in general tightening the screws on everyone
who failed to chose their parents as carefully as Tom and his wife did, is cranky.

His problem: the flatness of the world reached the value of his wealth, which apparently declined by an astonishing 99% (which still leaves him a millionaire.)

Easy come, easy go. It's not like he had to work to get his fortune (unless....oh forget it! I won't go there.)

But Tom is not going to be seen near a soup kitchen anytime soon, nor is any Iraqi V from Vendetta type likely to repay him for his tireless advocacy for mass murder. As vanity Fair mentions, he is still paid $50,000 dollars a pop to explain to other people why they should have less. And given that they flock to hear him, they probably deserve having less.

Hey Tom, people are tested in hard times. Be en entrepreneur, Tom! Innovate! Hire some folk in India to write your column for you, and pocket the wage difference. There are people in Nigeria who are can speak publicly better than you for a hundredth of those $50,000. Once you understand that, you get why the next logical step for you is to become Thomas Friedman International. Be your own brand! Imagine an army of well trained public speakers and op-ed writers all writing and speaking as "Thomas Friedman" and you get paid for everything.

It's a win-win plan. You will get rich again and the public will get more insightful op-eds and lectures.

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